Being a mom of 6 kids isn't always easy. Honestly, being a mom isn't always easy no matter how many kids you have. I'll be the first to tell you that our life is not blog-perfect. You know blog-perfect...all the kids are smiling, helpful and kind while the house has clean floors, cleared counter tops and Mama is always smiling with her fashionable ensemble and perfect make-up. I'll be the first to tell you that although I don't want anyone to assume that life is perfect in the Fish House, the purpose of my family blog is not to air our dirty laundry. I print our family blog yearly to replace my scrapbooking days of old. There's many things I wouldn't want to print and read for generations to come.
On the flip side, I know it's important that we as mothers don't ever assume that any one's blog life is an indication that life is perfect. We all have a messy house sometimes. We all are culprits of feeding our family Fruit Loops for supper when we are in survival mode. We all lose our tempers and raise our voices or say things that we shouldn't. We all dishonor our husbands in one way or another by taking the horse by the reins.
So on that note, I will tell you that last week was rough for me. Over half of the Fish Sticks were not obeying AT ALL and when you add a messy house and a long To Do list to that equation, this Mama was about to lose it. And I did lose it. As I was disciplining 2 highly emotional and disobedient Fish Sticks, I just broke down in tears crying. Crying for their sinful behavior. Crying for my inadequacies as their mother. Crying because, like
I Dream of Jeanie, I wanted to blink hard, fling my head-top pony tail and fix it all. Now the Fish Sticks don't see me cry much. Some of the reason is because I'm not a big crier in general and partly because I try not to cry in front of them. Well, it got their attention and apologies came fast. I was grateful for quick repentance (even though it really came from my own emotional state) but there still came the questions of "What am I doing wrong?".
Some of you might say "Nothing. All children disobey and it's just a process of training them." While that may be well and true, I believe it's always wise for we as parents to evaluate ourselves first. It certainly is easier for us to fix our own behavior than to fix the behavior of others. And so I prayed and asked the Lord to reveal to me my shortcomings as a mother. I heard instantly from Him and knew He hit the nail on the head. I have spent my summer with all 6 kids home 24/7 running and gunning to VBS, swim lessons, lake weekends, celebrations, cousin time, family reunions, etc. but living as a drill sergeant in order to keep order. Instead of being a mother who smiles and enjoys the fun activities of the summer, I have shouted commands, lectured and made charts and lists that need daily review. I realized that I haven't laughed with my kids much. I haven't hugged and kissed them enough. I haven't seen the things they do right and praise them for it. I've corrected using negative words instead of instructed using positive words. Yuck! I'm surprised they would even want to be around me.
So the next morning was different. It started with lots of smiles, lots of jokes, lots of tickles and lots of hugs and kisses. My goal now is to compliment every Fish Stick for SOMETHING daily - even the ones that praising comes harder. I always ask my kids when they cry, "Who are you crying for?" Is it for YOURSELF? If so, knock it off and shift your thoughts to someone else. If it's for someone else, then minister and serve them. So friends, who are you crying for?
