Mastering Marriage

I have avoided writing a post about marriage because I feel inadequate to write one.  But in reality, we are all probably inadequate to write a post about marriage because the perfect wife and the perfect husband does not exist.  It's so easy to read the blogs of others and feel discouraged while we assume that everyone else has everything together except for us.  There are those few bloggers who exist to actually post the blunt truth about the struggles of a wife and mother.  They are probably not the most popular among bloggers.

So let me preface this post by informing you that I am far from the perfect wife.  On that note, I will say that in my almost 18 years of marriage, I have come a long way.  When we were first married, I read just about every self-help marriage book that had been recommended to me.  You might assume then that I was near perfect with all that "help."  Unfortunately, these helpful books taught me so much but also puffed me up.  The more I thought I was following the guidelines to becoming a Godly wife, the more I thought I was without flaw resulting in pointing my finger at My Man quickly.

In 2000 God brought me to a very humbling point through the use of an article that I read that convicted my heart deeply.  I came to My Man in tears, asking him for forgiveness and hoping for a new start.  He was not even aware of the condition of my prideful heart at the time, but was quick to forgive and move forward.

One of my biggest lessons that I have learned about My Man over the years is his need to feel respected by me and respected by the Fish Sticks.  What comes naturally to me is to make him feel loved.  I often forget that his need for respect comes first.  I'll post another time about how to teach my Fish Sticks to show respect for their Daddy but now here are my thoughts on ways that I can show My Man respect.

**  Don't correct him.
Keeping my mouth shut is NOT a strength of mine, unfortunately.  Diarrhea of the mouth comes naturally all too often.  When I remember that I am under My Man and he is under the Lord, then there is no need to correct him.
**  Make his requests a priority.
Sometimes when My Man asks me to do things for him that are not my favorite things, I easily put them off and oftentimes forget altogether that he needed me to do something for him.  By making his requests a priority, I am showing him that HE is my priority and that he is respected.
**  Make him a priority.
With all the social media and myself being a social person, it's all too easy to get caught up in blogging, checking emails, Facebook, texting and talking on the phone.  These things are not bad in moderation, but when they take priority over communication with My Man or completing tasks that he's asked me to do to help him or managing my home and children, they are a bad distraction.  Delaying the priorities of homemaking, mothering and being a wife can easily be interpreted as disrespect to My Man.
**  Pursue him.
It's so important that we continue to chase our men and let them know how much we want them.  Running a family can be a huge energy-drainer and by the time bedtime rolls around, the pillow seems to have a big, red target on it.  Keeping things spicy is so important in showing our husbands that we need them.  I'm not just talking about evening "events" but throughout the day we can say things and do things that let them know of our attraction and need for them.

I'm sure there's many more I could mention here but I'm going to leave it at these 4.  All men are wired differently so I'm sure there are some bullet points of yours that would take priority over some of mine, but I bet that they would all boil down to the same main point....

Aretha Franklin hit the nail on the head.....R-E-S-P-E-C-T!